Offsite Photoshoot @ Holmesglen TAFE

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As the official photographer for the company, I am obliged tol answer any requests from the higher ups, should it be inhouse or offsite jobs. Today marks the last offsite video and photoshoot for this year and today it is my third visit at Holmesglen TAFE. Our subject is the process of making pastries. What sort of pastry, I do not know; me ain’t privy to such information. All I need to do is to show up and shoot on the fly.

Now I’m waiting for the rest of the crew and the chef himself to arrive. Guess I’m a little too early.

Killing me softly with a pizza

A colleague of mine has a series of allergies; he reacts badly to tomatoes and potatoes. From what I heard should he ingest one of these items, he’ll have rashes or inflammation in his throat or something like that. Probably large quantities would prove fatal. When my office treats us lunches with traces of tomatoes, say in this case pizzas, we have to specially order one without the tomato base for his lordship.

One day, we jokingly muttered, “Boy, it is so easy (and cheap) to murder him. All we need to do is to buy a pizza and shove a slice down into his throat”.

Okay. It is a lame joke but I really wanted to blog this.

Tissue Box

I have a colleague that is so cheapskate on buying his own tissues and instead he helps himself one every now and then from my teammate’s tissue box.

You’ll see him strolling happily into our department, greets us, invades to my teammate’s table and grabs a piece of tissue. He’ll blow his nose with a loud “pfffft” and walks away. Sometimes you may hear a “thank you” echoed in the corridor.

Power outage in office

This arvo, there was a power outage in a few buildings, including my office. Big boss has decided to spend us lunch at a pub nearby since we were roaming around freely without anything to do.

I had myself a nice lamb rump and at the end of the lunch, the big boss said if the power was still out, we could call it the day. Excitingly we headed back to office and when we were about to get into our respective cars…*pop* the power came back on! 

We were so close! If we’d cut our chat 5 minutes short and left, we could’ve escaped from the claws of the big boss.

Alas, back to work, yer dweebs.

A rant post

Just wanna let it off for once. Let’s call this lady woman Fatass.

In the office we have a car stacker that holds two cars on each platform and we, at times share the same level. The car stacker is a little space constrained, therefore when two cars are parked side by side, we barely have enough room to move in/out of the platform hence the office made a rule that one of us has to park facing in while the other facing out. I am the former and I always make sure there is some space left on the driver side so that the other occupier is able to get out as well.

This morning, this Fatass found the opportunity to inform tell order me to park my car closer to the corner of the platform next time and the tone wasn’t that friendly. And ohhh, that confrontation ended with a very cold “Thank you….”.

From that conversation I presumed either she was:

Speculation A: showing off her big, wide new Toyota that invades more space than my puny second hand.
Speculation B: having trouble to reverse her car in (à la poor parking skills)
Speculation C: can’t get her uber fat backside out of the car.

My take? I’m for C.

Observation: Work ethics

My big boss was on a business trip to UK a couple of weeks ago and returned last Friday. For the past two weeks, everyone would be clocking in to work after 9am or later and clock out before 4.30ish (or better still, they’ll be “working from home”).

And behold, today is Monday morning and everyone is at work by 8.30am! Surprise surprise.

Like the saying goes, “When the cat is away, the mice will come out to play”

Bacon-ing your website

A mate of mine sent me this awesome web trick to play a prank on some poor non-IT souls.

http://bacolicio.us/

By adding a website of your choice at the end of the web address above, you’ll be “superimposing” a bacon image on the chosen website. Of course I picked my employer’s website and sent an email via Outlook, masking the actual web address with the prank web address (for example, http://bacolicio.us/http://www.google.com) to my colleagues and my boss.

Within an hour, my boss freaked out. He called everyone in the office to check including some colleagues who did not receive my prank email (this made him more panic than ever).

Boss: “Did you see the bacon on our website?”
Dude X: “No. I didn’t see anything. The website is fine.”
Boss: “!!!!”

Cereals…

Last week was my Big Day. My colleagues decided to ask me what plans do I have to celebrate such an important day of the year.

Colleague: So, any plans tonight? Go out dinner with friends? Get yourself pissed?
Me: I think I’ll just stay home and eat cereals for dinner.
Colleague:

Loved to see the expression of my colleagues when I said that. So priceless.

And yes, I had cereals for dinner that evening.

The big boss is watching you…even in the washroom

Out of the blue, my colleague (or colleagues) decided to stick a few posters of my big boss around the office. From the looks of the poster, it has different close up shots of my estatic, drunken-state, energetic CEO (attending a party, I suspect).

One poster in particular, is stickered on a wall in the men’s room. To be more specific, it is on the wall where the urinals are. Watching over us while we’re performing our natural functions, it has a very happy face with his jaw dropped and eyes staring (almost) down.

It gives me the creeps. I’ve decided to use the ones in a cubicle since then.